The Amazing Fosters

To the Max

Max due to your recent behavior I am subtracting one hundred dollars from your allowance and postponing all electronics, movies, and spending until next year I hope that you will think about your actions

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Gunnar & Max, about to tickle Chris on his 3rd birthday, laughed: “We are the birthday thieves!”

Chris (shouting): “Get off of my birthday!”

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Trey on the 4th of July: "I never imagined fireworks could be so spectacular!"

Not that I am biased, but, nice vocabulary for a 5 year old, huh?

Foster Funnies

2009-07-03T13:05:00.003-04:00

The boys recently attended a youth group event that included a discussion of street drugs - with pictures of their common forms. At Trey's kindergarten graduation his teacher (and the pastor's wife) approached me chuckling. She said, "Max was just quizzing me about what ingredients I had put in my cupcakes. He said Ecstasy sometimes has four-leaf clover on it, too." At least he was paying attention!

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Trey on the phone to his Grandpa Don in Kansas, "Is it daytime or nighttime in your world?"

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We were discussing how some people who do not feel so good about themselves sometimes criticize and put each other down when Trey said, "I love myself completely. Except for my hair."

Family Photos

2009-06-28T21:18:00.023-04:00

At Gunnar's first guitar recital

Max, Trey, Gunnar & Chris at
Kindergarten graduation

Trey with his very proud parents

Chris, Max & Trey snuggling in Max's berth

Gunnar hanging out on Odysea - as usual

A staged, calm moment with cousins Laura and Cassidy

in Orlando

Laura, Chris and G give our SUV some TLC

Cassidy as the water goddess

The boys were begging for yet another day when it was time to leave.

2009-04-16T11:11:00.002-04:00

My five year old is spiking his hair these days (refused to go snorkeling in the Dry Tortugas because he didn’t want to mess it up!). Anyhow, as we walked past the ship store on our way to school Miss Carmen, the clerk, came out and said, "Trey! You look like a rock star!" He said, "thank you", and as we walked to the parking lot I heard him mutter under his breath, "I AM a rock star!?!"

Chris is absolutely two. Wants to be in charge - but changes his mind like the wind. I didn’t realize we were commenting on it all the time, but we must be - because this morning he chose the long pants I held up, then, as I stowed the shorts he rejected he said, "Change your mind" and grabbed them back out of the drawer.

Foster Funnies

2009-04-15T11:07:00.004-04:00

Last night Trey was in the forward head (aka bathroom) combing his hair different ways and he came out with it combed back on top and said, "My hair looks like yours, Daddy!" Dave said, "Oh, do you like that?" Trey said, "Yes, I look kind." OH MY - that brings tears to my eyes again this minute:)

Further to my post of 2/8 - Max & I went to the grocery store and I plotted with him in the car before we even arrived that I was going to eat some of the Double Stuff Oreo cookies I planned to buy right there in the store - before we even checked out. This made Max very uncomfortable and he said it was wrong. I justified myself saying that you ate before you paid at restaurants, but he was having none of it. He moved VERY far away from me in the cookie aisle and pretended he didn't know me. When we left I reminded him, "You said you didn't see things as black and white or in shades of gray - but in color." He responded very seriously, "Well, that made me see RED."

Chris loves going to "school" at Sunbeam Christian Daycare. He is very territorial about his red lunchbox - won't let anyone carry it for him. We knew we were in trouble when he got busted for doing something wrong at home one night and sobbed, "School, NOW!"

We made some wonderful new friends on our sailing trip to the Dry Tortugas over spring break - the Roth's camping on the shore and the families and crew on Omarsea, Quixotic and Kahala, Dave & Missy, Ranger Chris with the sunset tour . . . We also met Wade and Debbie on their catamaran who gifted our children with headbands Debbie sewed for each of them with a compass rose and Odysea embroidered on the front. Wow! We were so delighted to encounter Wade and Debbie again here in Key West and they were able to join us for dinner last night. For this Foster funny to make sense, you have to know that Wade and Debbie have tattoos of adult themes and verbiage - in particular a four letter word we don't use in our home caught our older boys' attention. Well, before they arrived last night, Gunnar wondered who was coming to dinner and when I told him, he said gravely, "It is a good thing Trey and Chris can't read!" (Note to Wade & Debbie - we LOVED having you over and will have you again even when Trey and Chris CAN read. Have fun in the Bahamas - we will be looking for a photo of you at yet another Hard Rock Cafe on Facebook.)

Foster Funnies

2009-03-16T11:38:00.003-04:00

Church on Odysea with the Fosters is pretty casual. We eat donuts and wear our pajamas . . . but we still take God seriously.

Yesterday morning, Dave noticed Chris wasn't folding his hands when it was his turn to pray. What he failed to notice was the half of a donut still in Chris' hands when he said, "Fold your hands, Chris." Chris, obedient - but apparently not willing to put it down - stuck the donut in his mouth, folded his hands and began mumbling his prayer through donut. So much for a serious time of prayer!

Recently Chris asked Dave to pray with him - not at a meal - just randomly. (He says, "Amen, amen, amen" and folds his hands 'til we get it.) Dave was so touched, Chris thanked God for each of his brothers by name. He was playing with his trucks for a moment after he finished then said, "Daddy, pray trucks."

Max on Hot Dog Eating Contests

2009-02-20T07:25:00.001-05:00

"Ever notice how everyone in sports is an athelete? Except for those hot dog eating contests."

Gunnar and Max - on Rockband

2009-02-19T11:07:00.004-05:00

Regarding Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden

Max, "Ugh, I see why you don't like this one. The music is great, but the singing is horrible."

Gunnar, reasonably, "Maybe the band leader had a cold but didn't want to miss the performance."

On Paranoid by Black Sabbath

Gunnar, "You realize what that song is about?"

Max, exasperated, "Well, yeah. A guy who is depressed."

Gunnar, "Who wouldn't be, with a voice like that."

Family photos

2009-02-13T22:32:00.011-05:00

Dave, Chris, Gunnar, Trey, Vicki & Max

Chaos in close quarters

Max

Trey

Gunnar - practicing for Cirque de Soliel

Chris

Me & My boys

Update on Chris

2009-02-09T10:02:00.005-05:00

Beth, Bev & Kim,

Thought I would drop you a note to let you know that Chris is - wonderful – amazing – amusing – outrageous – TWO – and, oh, so fun. He is fitting in with our family more every day and we are getting the hang of having him around.

He adores Gunnar and Max and loves to play with Trey. When anyone comes home he dances and shouts their name with glee – a lovely homecoming for all of us.

His language is exploding. He doesn’t put together his own English sentences, but is a mimic and repeats what he hears. He also has a pretty large inventory of words he can say – “cookie” being his favorite and “nap” being his least favorite. He understands us almost all of the time.

He is charming and engaging with strangers. Greets people on the dock by name. He spontaneously pet a dog last week – only the second time he has touched one since arriving. Still doesn’t like the swimming pool itself but dances up the path toward it ‘cuz he likes the family fun time.

The other day Gunnar said, “Mom, watch Chris!” at which point Chris proceeded to do a song and dance routine that ended with a somersault! This definitely came with him from Haiti as the Foster’s do not know how to dance . . . and the somersault? Ha. God bless whoever donated that trampoline, Beth.

Oh my – if he doesn’t get his way first thing, his morning is ruined. On Friday morning, I did not take his pajamas off in the manner he prefers (everything off before the diaper change, but I like to use the pajamas as a changing area so left his arms in the sleeves) and it took him three hours to get over it. We all found that highly amusing. Poor little thing, he doesn’t really stand a chance as we are all pretty cheerful in the morning so his cranky pouts just make us giggle and we send him to his room for the count of 10 – over and over and over again until he figures out the whining is getting him nowhere. Of course, I am taking his pajamas off just like he wants from now on . . .

Kim, I think that I told you one of the most shocking things about this adoption was that I was very prepared for a grieving/angry toddler (which never happened) and only minimally prepared for the sibling rivalry that immediately sprang up between Chris (2) and Trey (5). The books I had read mentioned that the two children closest in age would have a “difficult time”, but I wasn’t ready for the immediate and intense animosity that Trey felt towards Chris. He liked him and resented him all at the same time.

While it seemed like we had worked through the majority of this within a couple of months, Trey’s bedwetting, which had been rare prior Chris’ arrival but not unheard of, continued to escalate. This was at odds with Trey’s apparent care for his new brother and the fun times they are having more and more frequently.

Thinking it is a ploy for attention (up until mid-December he got to sleep with us when he wet his bed), we have been imposing harsher and harsher consequences. Finally in mid-January, after 3 bed wetting incidents in 4 days (ugh), I told Trey I had had it. His little shoulders slumped and he finally admitted that he was afraid to climb down from the top bunk (where we relocated him when Chris arrived). Oh my. It is true that we did get after him the first couple of times he stepped on his little brother who is VERY difficult to see in the dark. And, upon reflection, I realized he had no accidents during all of our travels over the holidays. Sigh.

I am so glad I had a chance to speak to Trey quietly and alone! That was such a God moment. We moved him to the lower berth and put Chris on the top one (there is a lee board so he can’t fall outJ) and that has been working much better. His bedwetting hasn’t returned to pre-Chris levels, but it has improved and I am praying that God will give us the wisdom to work through this issue in a gentle and graceful manner.

Another huge indicator that the sibling rivalry is simply at a normal level happened last week. Trey was complaining about everything I did for him for some reason – I hadn’t picked out the right movie for him at the library, he would have preferred I bring him a soda rather than a chocolate shake as his afterschool snack, etc. – finally I had it. I banished him to his room until he could think of three nice things I had done for him. I have no recollection of what he said first or last, because he melted my heart with the second thing he said - “Thank you for doing all the paperwork, mommy.” “Paperwork?!?” “You know!” “You mean the paperwork I did to get Chris?” He nodded with a happy smile. Ahh. Thank you, God.

Sorry to be so long winded. Guess I should send little updates more often, but time gets away from me.

Vicki