Beth, Bev & Kim,
Thought I would drop you a note to let you know that Chris is - wonderful – amazing – amusing – outrageous – TWO – and, oh, so fun. He is fitting in with our family more every day and we are getting the hang of having him around.
He adores Gunnar and Max and loves to play with Trey. When anyone comes home he dances and shouts their name with glee – a lovely homecoming for all of us.
His language is exploding. He doesn’t put together his own English sentences, but is a mimic and repeats what he hears. He also has a pretty large inventory of words he can say – “cookie” being his favorite and “nap” being his least favorite. He understands us almost all of the time.
He is charming and engaging with strangers. Greets people on the dock by name. He spontaneously pet a dog last week – only the second time he has touched one since arriving. Still doesn’t like the swimming pool itself but dances up the path toward it ‘cuz he likes the family fun time.
The other day Gunnar said, “Mom, watch Chris!” at which point Chris proceeded to do a song and dance routine that ended with a somersault! This definitely came with him from Haiti as the Foster’s do not know how to dance . . . and the somersault? Ha. God bless whoever donated that trampoline, Beth.Oh my – if he doesn’t get his way first thing, his morning is ruined. On Friday morning, I did not take his pajamas off in the manner he prefers (everything off before the diaper change, but I like to use the pajamas as a changing area so left his arms in the sleeves) and it took him three hours to get over it. We all found that highly amusing. Poor little thing, he doesn’t really stand a chance as we are all pretty cheerful in the morning so his cranky pouts just make us giggle and we send him to his room for the count of 10 – over and over and over again until he figures out the whining is getting him nowhere. Of course, I am taking his pajamas off just like he wants from now on . . .
Kim, I think that I told you one of the most shocking things about this adoption was that I was very prepared for a grieving/angry toddler (which never happened) and only minimally prepared for the sibling rivalry that immediately sprang up between Chris (2) and Trey (5). The books I had read mentioned that the two children closest in age would have a “difficult time”, but I wasn’t ready for the immediate and intense animosity that Trey felt towards Chris. He liked him and resented him all at the same time.
While it seemed like we had worked through the majority of this within a couple of months, Trey’s bedwetting, which had been rare prior Chris’ arrival but not unheard of, continued to escalate. This was at odds with Trey’s apparent care for his new brother and the fun times they are having more and more frequently.
Thinking it is a ploy for attention (up until mid-December he got to sleep with us when he wet his bed), we have been imposing harsher and harsher consequences. Finally in mid-January, after 3 bed wetting incidents in 4 days (ugh), I told Trey I had had it. His little shoulders slumped and he finally admitted that he was afraid to climb down from the top bunk (where we relocated him when Chris arrived). Oh my. It is true that we did get after him the first couple of times he stepped on his little brother who is VERY difficult to see in the dark. And, upon reflection, I realized he had no accidents during all of our travels over the holidays. Sigh.
While it seemed like we had worked through the majority of this within a couple of months, Trey’s bedwetting, which had been rare prior Chris’ arrival but not unheard of, continued to escalate. This was at odds with Trey’s apparent care for his new brother and the fun times they are having more and more frequently.
Thinking it is a ploy for attention (up until mid-December he got to sleep with us when he wet his bed), we have been imposing harsher and harsher consequences. Finally in mid-January, after 3 bed wetting incidents in 4 days (ugh), I told Trey I had had it. His little shoulders slumped and he finally admitted that he was afraid to climb down from the top bunk (where we relocated him when Chris arrived). Oh my. It is true that we did get after him the first couple of times he stepped on his little brother who is VERY difficult to see in the dark. And, upon reflection, I realized he had no accidents during all of our travels over the holidays. Sigh.
I am so glad I had a chance to speak to Trey quietly and alone! That was such a God moment. We moved him to the lower berth and put Chris on the top one (there is a lee board so he can’t fall outJ) and that has been working much better. His bedwetting hasn’t returned to pre-Chris levels, but it has improved and I am praying that God will give us the wisdom to work through this issue in a gentle and graceful manner.
Another huge indicator that the sibling rivalry is simply at a normal level happened last week. Trey was complaining about everything I did for him for some reason – I hadn’t picked out the right movie for him at the library, he would have preferred I bring him a soda rather than a chocolate shake as his afterschool snack, etc. – finally I had it. I banished him to his room until he could think of three nice things I had done for him. I have no recollection of what he said first or last, because he melted my heart with the second thing he said - “Thank you for doing all the paperwork, mommy.” “Paperwork?!?” “You know!” “You mean the paperwork I did to get Chris?” He nodded with a happy smile. Ahh. Thank you, God.
Sorry to be so long winded. Guess I should send little updates more often, but time gets away from me.
Vicki
Another huge indicator that the sibling rivalry is simply at a normal level happened last week. Trey was complaining about everything I did for him for some reason – I hadn’t picked out the right movie for him at the library, he would have preferred I bring him a soda rather than a chocolate shake as his afterschool snack, etc. – finally I had it. I banished him to his room until he could think of three nice things I had done for him. I have no recollection of what he said first or last, because he melted my heart with the second thing he said - “Thank you for doing all the paperwork, mommy.” “Paperwork?!?” “You know!” “You mean the paperwork I did to get Chris?” He nodded with a happy smile. Ahh. Thank you, God.
Sorry to be so long winded. Guess I should send little updates more often, but time gets away from me.
Vicki
No comments:
Post a Comment